Four words from a ghost in the wind.

Written 2012 edited today-

What kind of person leaves gum on the sidewalk, I don’t know them, I don’t know their history but the sheer odds for me to step on this piece of discarded waste is astronomical, just thinking about it would send the butterfly effect through a loop and it would end up as some movie made by warner brothers, but as I grabbed the business card of a prospecting client out of my wallet to scrape this purple piece of perforated crap from my shoe a thought hit me, what else has a story and who would tell them. Isn’t that the problem with life we all just want someone to tell our story, for most it’s a child that you nurture to adulthood, some just confined in a friend, but most of the time it’s a random stranger that you meet in a strange crossing of paths, all of this happens due to one thought, “who is going to tell my story”, we contemplate this thought each day we live and breathe in this world. Even now when you think of it you have had this happen before or you were the one who was the storyteller, it is kinda funny how you and I don’t know this person any more than the piece of gum stuck to my shoe yet there is some fundamental part of our brain that wants to confide in strangers or give them a second to hear them out. Even though I’m calling you out I can’t blame you I love talking to people and hearing their story, it’s like expanding your horizons, seeing an unseen side of the billions of face that you scan and forget yet the moment you know a story of an individual they stick out like a beer in the fridge, you always know its there and its ready to drink whenever you need it.I often ask myself why the hell do you remember this stuff and what purpose do you have for keeping it in that thick skull of yours, well, frankly, I don’t know, there is no point to me knowing why you’re getting on the bus or why your buying five copies of the same DVD, I just want to hear your story, it helps both me and you, on one side you feel I’m invested and on the other I get to meet and see the real you. More times than I can think people around me have just given me time that they will never get back just to help me talk about what I’m getting through and it all starts with “hey, how’s it going”, hell friendships have started this way and a lot of them have lasted to this day, now that I think of it I’m even dating one of those conversations. This is where truth lies, yes I misspelled that for a reason because in these situations both truth and lies live in the same words, this person could be spitting out more lies than a politician or they could be pouring their souls out to you, because of this it is both beautiful and scary, a mystery that only you can solve but the clues you need only show when you give clues about yourself. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying go out and talk to every person you see because you’re asking to be killed, I’m just saying when you’re out walking or driving and you see someone that looks like they are having a bad go at things just stop and say “hey, how’s it going”.

At the end of the day you’re just a peice of gum stuck on the bottom of some ones shoe, until you get out of that comfort zone an help them solve the mystery of you they are just going to scrape you off with their business card and get on with their lives.

Now before i end this, i know this comes across as dribble and none coherent but I wrote this on a day when I was down in the dumps and was completely shut off from the world and it wasn’t until a complete stranger, a hero walking amongst men walked up and said “hey, how’s it going”, this unspoken badass even asked me if I wanted coffee, no he wasn’t hitting on me. Turns out his man was Peter a guy in his late fifties that lost his son to suicide many years ago, he was just walking to get lunch on his break from work and saw me there looking a little worse for wear and wanted nothing more than to hear my story, not to feel go for himself, or to have a story to post on facebook, it was just to do the one thing that can save anyone at any time, TALKING ABOUT IT. So if you’re struggling with depression, anxiety, self-doubt or any one of the million things that can get a person down it only takes four words to help that person through their day.

Kind regards

Dasko

Grasping to become ungrasped

Written in early 2012

Today I realised one Truth, mankind is born with three hands two to hold onto the world and one for the world to hold onto them, as we walk through life at first the third-hand goes unnoticed as a child this hand pushes us along helping us discover the world find new things and add them to our collection of memories while covering our eyes to the reality of life. Alas, this does not last forever as we as a person grows this third hand begins to let the reality in because as a true fact this hand does not grow it remains the same for our entire lives. The moment we are shown the light one of two things happen you either try to hide behind the hand trying to shield yourself from the light or you leave the hand behind, either one of these paths have both positives and negatives but no one can choose either path without discovering how life’s road will be coated, will it be coated smoothly but with massive pot holes or will it be rocky with speed bumps.

If one decides to shield themselves from the light using the hand this becomes harder then playing peek a boo using a chopstick but with this safety net nine times out of ten no light will be seen by the person and they can remain blissful for the most part. Sadly everyone knows life is not predictable even if you could see the future so that one time out of ten life is going to take that chopstick and eat its dinner while it watches you try and grab it back leaving you cowering in the corner second guessing everything you know like a kid lost in a supermarket.

On the second side if one decides to leave the hand behind you will be tested day after day for the rest of your life all because that bloody hand that you have left behind wants you back, one can not live in the world without the world trying to hold on, this hand constantly tries to pull you back down with its problems this intern keeps you in reality. think of it like a staircase every step you go up be it from a happy moment or a fond memory the hand with pull you back down one to keep you here in reality, with this in mind it is not a bad way to live because you have ups and downs more down when you really think about it. Truth in the fact this is the world getting a full grasp of you and it happens but this is merely a speed hump and they are short lived because we truly believe we don’t need the hand to live.

To be honest I have lived both ways and don’t like either one of the paths both of them cause you to rely on a greater power that in truth never really exists but everyone needs the world because without the world we might as well just be brains in beakers. after many years of going between these, I had a moment where what I thought was a speed bump was, in fact, a ramp that I was barrelling towards with a giant chasm beneath it. The moment I hit that ramp me as a person would go down into the chasm and become engulfed by the world and lose myself in it, or I could stick my hands out and try to grab the edge as I reach the other side and pull myself out of the chasm and go on living life. The truth is I fell and I fell hard and I had no choice the world had got me but as the light began to fade and my life began to flip through the choices whether to accept its fate or try to grab the wall, something happened, as I saw the end beneath me ready to accept it and await the hard smack of nothingness I felt something in my hands as I looked back I was punched hard in the stomach by that bastard of a third hand and in that moment my eyes were opened. Little did I realise that when I hit the ramp I wasn’t alone, turns out that my hands were holding onto my family, my friends every person I ever knew or loved and when I decided to fall, my choice would decide their fates as well, to make them fall with me. In this darkest moment, I have ever faced my mind was hit with a bolt of lightning causing me to come to a truth that i had been looking for my entire short lived life there is a third path we can take, not to hide behind the hand, or even try and run from it. The truth is that hand that I’ve been blabbering about is in fact just wanting  us to hold it and bring it with us because that hand is the hands of our family and friends mashed together into one and if one of person falls we all fall.

so what am I getting at with all this dribble, even though you won’t say it you love everyone that has touched your life, the more you run from the world AKA the third hand or try to use it as a shield you will one day be grabbed so hard you can’t breathe and the darkness will creep in. Learn to accept the third hand or the world and carry it with you.

At the end of the day, you are in fact the third hand for everyone else. 

Written, lost, found and rewritten  

By Dasko 

 

Don’t let others read….. On second thoughts.

Along time ago (well to me it was along time ago) a wise man told me “that ever man women and child even if they were sane, deranged, smart or slow everyone needs to process their thoughts into writing. Be it on the napkin of their last drink or even in the middle of a research paper due the next day, if everyone took five minutes out of the meat grinder they could find their place in the universe and once again find a flow to feeling perfect”. With these wise words in mind ever since that moment i would write down everything that was going on be it, writing down that my teacher was being an asshat in detail or writing a short story about a cat that was really a dog but deep down really was a horse it didn’t matter to me just the feeling of the pen or pencil or crayon or texta in my hand writing out my worries or triumphs it made my mind at easy. But in keeping with the clause  that my sensei set before me when he bestowed this wisdom on me “for this technique to work you may never boast or search for gratification from anyone who isn’t you, these notes you write or draw are your own and thus will never be wrong nor right”, i never showed anyone or ask anyone if this sounds cool (i was 16 at the time give me a break) and these notes became a secret, a little oasis in a world that was defined by me, if i wanted to write a speech being spoken by someone who can’t use the letter A i would do that or ponder the question was it the colour orange that was named first or was it the fruit (i later found out that it indeed was the fruit) i didn’t care the only one who was going to read it was me. These notebooks would last about a month then i would purposely lose them, be it chucking them in a box full of other random items or chucking it in a suitcase that i never use,  i did this because out of the blue i would find these books months even years later down the track and it would be a small time capsule into the mind of a mad man aka ME it really put everything in perspective but after i read them a second time nine times out of ten i would throw them away never to be seen by mortal eyes again unless some how a piece of it has been recycled into your printing paper then Ssssssshhhhhhhhh keep it to yourself. Now you’re probably wondering to yourself if he does this then why the hell is he putting it on the most open source ever known or maybe you’re  just saying MEH!!!! with a loud shrug of the shoulders and with a roll of the finger you will never hear from me again, the truth is I’m not putting up all the things i write down because the truth of the matter is i don’t know you and everyone has secrets, also i don’t just write them down in books i also right on everything and anything so i lose a lot of them. The point of this blog………(sorry i just threw up a little because i would never have really done this if it wasn’t for a certain something that will remain nameless) is for me to bring you highlights and general banter i have with Thomas(my saner self) in an effort to one day maybe help someone who just needs to balance on the line between sanity and losing oneself to the dark side( yes i just used a star wars quote i am a geek get used to it).

I close this with a thank you for taking the time to read this because we all don’t have a lot of time in this world and i can’t believe you have given me some of yours.

Kind regards

Dasko