Give it a try….will you succeed 

Here are a few things that I don’t realize are strange as hell yet I do them day to day, not out of necessity, just because when I do them and explain them to people they should give it a try,  they first think I’m an idiot, sure enough every time I tell them I either see them or hear from them and they’ve tried them and it screwed with there head.

#1-opening the doorway to the beyond- next time you’re sitting in a room stare at an open corner of the room, like I mean really stare, focus every part of you into the very center of the corner. Now if you focus hard enough the wall will begin to open, now I understand what’s happening, but the moment it does you’re brain needs to take a double take and it will close. 

I swear I’m not crazy hahahaha.

#2-word picking- now this one doesn’t necessarily messes with you’re mind as it does with others. Next time you’re having a conversation with someone, you may start to notice that they use a certain filler word a lot, once you’ve found the word every time they say it just nod or smile, any form of positive affirmation will do. Funny thing is when you start doing it they start saying the word none stop it’s quite funny, I’ve done it for months to some people, here’s the kicker if you change it to negative they get real defensive, like I mean super quick. 

#3-man you a stalker- next time you’re out in public and about to yawn get ready because you Have to be quick, the moment you yawn quickly look around and see if anyone yawns. There is this sudden moment of internal hysterical laughter followed but an intense moment of WTF, like why the hell were they looking at me, is it because I’m looking good today or am I looking abit weird, probably the weirdness, hahahaha.

#4- hey look at me- now this one is similar to number three but is a bit harder for some, once again while you’re in public but this involves a sneeze, now my partner can a test to this because I do it so frequently see looks as well. The moment you sneeze you need to turn up the volume to eleven, like I mean nearly blow your face off and when it goes off it’s almost like a bomb. Watch everyone freak out, I did it once and a guy fell over, well worth a try.


Classical madness

One press, just one press and you are transported to an amphitheater, before you stands waiting a full orchestra just there for you, you look around and there is no other members of the audience. A private concert begins with the tap of the conductors might staff of control, the strings start to vibrate soothing your soul as they build and build, a slight drum builds in the background tapping at the door to enter this extravagant sound scape. Both sounds meeting in a crescendo that vibrates you to your core, the room goes silent as a singular violin plays a mellow tune as something begins to press hard to your back, but as the rest of the orchestra builds back but you shrug it off as nothing. Minutes flow by as the music guides you down a stream of tranquility, bang a sharp pain strikes you in the back you look around and see nothing you turn back to the orchestra to blend back into the bliss of sound, bang bang, it happens again and again, each time you turn and see nothing, with each kick, it gets harder and harder to focus on the scene before you. As time pass the jabbing  gets harder and harder, you begin to scratch at your skin, the irritation and frustration builds and builds, minutes turn to hours, why are you doing this just stand and walk out, “no,I have a purpose” you scream. After time begins to blur together you are now a melted mess in you chair, longer more and more for this to be over, all of a sudden you look to the stage, a person stands there cloaked in darkness, were they always there, how are they just standing there while I’m in the agony. The light fade to black, a solitary spot light snaps on and focuses specifically on this person, silence fills the room in anticipation.



“Hello, this is Greg from technical support, how may I help you.” He says

You can now die in peace. 

Oww crap I’m a full blown geek!

Before we get into the brunt of the info, yes I am a geek and not just any geek. I read comics and watch there live action adaptions, played games since the beginning of the franchise and gone to midnight launches to play those games as quick as possible. Above all else Star Wars is in my blood, for Christ’s sake when I was 8 years old while everyone was ringing the new millennium waiting for the planes to fall (lol) after midnight, the oldies still drinking like fish I went into the play room and watched a new hope from start to finish (mind you it was the shitty remaster, because no one understood it’s nothing like the original and bought me a new hope on VHS for Christmas). So when I got called a geek or a nerd I said a firm hard “yes, am i” and didn’t care all that much because everyone is technically a geek or a nerd. This is where we get into the heart of the story, when I heard that people played d&d (or dungeons and dragons to normal people) I thought they were that higher level of nerd, the kind that sits in a basement playing make believe and blow up when their dm(dungeon master) is being a power hungry dick. In this moment I said that I would never stoop that low, but I digress this d&d is not a game it is a drug, it’s like cocaine some people use it and go Im only gonna do it once in a while, but for a select few it becomes and addiction. For those of you who don’t know what d&d is first off how do you not know what it is, like come on google it and see how long it’s been around for, seriously
 I’ll wait…….

See it’s a game that’s 34years old and you think a game that has been around for that long you think it has some kind of draw. Second it’s a role playing game, you make a character and explore a world laid out by the dm and make roles to either succeed or fail at everything you wish to do. Now you’re thinking that sounds pretty boring, well technically on paper it is, but what makes the game is the people. Never in my life have I meet a group of people that a more welcoming and so eager to teach, the first time I played my character died in the first session and I never truly went back. After a bit of time away the game drew me back in and I begun to play with this new group with a very large number of people each with personalities that clash in many ways but the moment the Dm begins to intro the moods change, a person who is a store manager by day is all of sudden changed into a brick shit house with a hammer that could crush you like a tin can, but the thing that draws you in is that you don’t have to be a master of impressions or know the rules like the back of you’re hand, you only put in what you want to put in and you have a front seat to an epic adventure. There are draw backs though, character deaths, to those of you that it’s happened to you know what I’m talking about for those of you who haven’t, it sucks, no it fucking sucks, when you have this character that you’ve been playing for months, it begins to be a part of you and you sit there and have them cleaved in half by a sword, swallowed whole by a dragon or even accidentally killed by your party. There is this deep feeling of lose and never have I played a game that almost has me in tears begging for them to come back, to take it back, you go through the stages of grief for this mere sheet of paper, this figment of your imagination. If told my younger self that I’d be playing d&d I tell you, you’d be laughing and walk away. But now I’d recommend to everyone I even Hey have my partner playing and she caught the bug. 
I have entered the next stage of geekdom all I’m trying to do is drag you down with me mwah ha ha ha 

Fundamental problem with Religion

Written in 2008-

Before I get into this post just a few things I’d like to clarify, this was written when I was 17, during this time I was attending a private school and studying religion. To be c honest my family is a Christian household but with the influence of my grandmother that adapted many things from multiple different belief structures completely I had a very open mind towards other religions but in the long run, don’t classify myself as a very religious person.

By me writing this I am not trying to cause any offence towards any social group nor use this to put any other religious group above any other, these writings are pure speculation and thoughts on pros and cons in multiple sects of religious living, so don’t start sending threats just take these thoughts as they are and leave it at that.

Today we were asked to put forward or thoughts on different religions, we were asked to come to the front of the class and write our thoughts on the board, so that we could see the differing opinions of different beliefs, from the way the teacher took my contributions to the class, I DON’T THINK HE LIKES THE WAY I THINK, so with that here is the things I wrote on the board:

  • Christianity– you are told not to sin because upon death you face divine judgment and upon the end of the judgement you will either spend all eternity in the light of heaven or burn in the fire of hell, but due to the ever-changing lifestyle of the human race almost everything is classified as a sin these days and it’s almost impossible not to piss off god even though he himself sins more than all of us, he’s a little pervy. But from the core beliefs of Christianity if one does run over a person whilst kissing his neighbor’s wife whilst in a stolen car, as long as you repent your sins you are forever forgiven in the eyes of god, so heaven must be a pretty shitty place.
  • Islam– has the same end game as Christianity but they don’t believe in having priests because it is against the virtues of the one true god, but the big issues are some of the things they condemn as sins are very archaic, if one wishes to eat something they must check if it is purer than silk, we can not devote ourselves to worldly figures of high stature meaning no superheroes. but if one even opens one’s self to the beliefs of any other religion, its a straight shot to hell.
  • Hinduism– the way we live life is then judged in the end and we are either rewarded or punished for the life we had led, they also believe that all living things have souls and depending on how good or bad we are the higher or lower we move on the ladder of rebirth. For example, you’re good you move towards a higher plain of existence depending on whether this is your first or second good life but if you’re bad you move down and will become some form of animal. So therefore the burger i just ate could have been one of my relatives.
  • Buddhism– has the same belief structure as Hinduism, you do well your next life will be good, do bad and your next life will be bad. Besides this in the Tibetan side of Buddhism it is believed that people who do bad things are still being controlled by the animalistic tendencies of their previous life and have no way to change them, so therefore if I do bad there is nothing I can do because the dog in me won’t piss off until I die.

The teacher asked me why I have no faith and would choose to try and be funny at the cost of insulting the beliefs of millions of people, I then responded with “Dogma, if god came down and said to you everything you know about faith is wrong then by your Faith, you would believe him”.

a wise man once said “It’s not about who’s right or wrong. No denomination’s nailed it yet, because they’re all too self-righteous to realize that it doesn’t matter what you have faith in, just that you have faith. Your hearts are in the right place, but your brains gotta to wake up.”- Kevin Smith-Dogma(1999)

Paradoxical Humour

So I was going through one of my old Philosophy notebooks and notice these weird excerpts of text, they’re mostly analogies to explain the different paradoxes we were learning and yes I know some of them are about the same thing but I frankly couldn’t be bothered organising them into sections. So here are some of the ones I found throughout multiple books and they’re fun for a browse through the last one is a little questionable.

  • In the words of Socrates “yes sir, i will teach you about apples, but I can’t teach you about fruit”. Each lesson learned is a new lesson that must be taught.
  • The more something scares you the more it must be done, except for clowns not going anywhere near them…..No way…….no……no……….no.
  • Man, this teacher is a butt plug, hmmm does that make him a buttplug. (the less one cares for others, the less they care for oneself).
  • The Earth added Mars on facebook, but yet still only talks to him once a year and in this moment the Earth realised that the more he tried to become connected the deeper his isolation he felt.
  • Skateboarder thinks he’s going to nutter butter on the rail, then Damn right he’s going to nutter butter on that goddamn rail. The more you look to failure the truer it becomes. 
  • Holy crap that dudes nose is huge…..owwww wait….. it’s mine. The more you hate something about someone the more you hate about yourself because you’re avoiding the mirror.
  • “No I will not let you hold my baby,” Jeremy said as he lit up a cigarette from behind his ear. The less we trust, the less we can be trusted.
  • Nobody likes, Nobody likes, Nobody likes a Try Hard (sung by some preppy dingleberry band from the mid-2000’s),  the more we try to impress the fewer people that are truly impressed by you.
  • GodDammit Russel why the hell can’t you setup my fricken mac you said that you knew how to use Linux, Windows and Mac. Bertrand Russel-“the more conviction someone holds to be the absolute truth the less the know on the subject”.
  • “Hmm, excuse me, sir, what ice cream flavours do you have,” Tim said to the clerk,”well we have chocolate, vanilla, strawberry and bull feces, but I only have one scoop and I haven’t changed the water all day,” the clerk said. The paradox of Choice- the more options we are given the less each one appeals to us.
  • “but Jim I’m nothing but a square, I’m only two-dimensional how can anyone ever love something that is two dimensional,” Linda said, “Dammit I’m a cube, Linda, we were made for each other,” Jim proclaimed. The morale of the story, the more honest we are about one’s negatives  the more perfect we become in everyone’s eyes.
  • From now on all diamonds are now free, yes free, just look in your pockets, the thing that was once worth thousands is now free, what will you do with them, propose to your one true love, well, too bad she wants a salt ring now. Scarcity Paradox the more available things become the less we desire them.
  • A million dollars to the person who can move one of these rocks to the top of this building, Peter pushed towards the stairs inch by inch he made his way to the top, hours pass and Peter is a now a mere floor away from the finish, with no sign of the other competitor anywhere near him he pushed on, but as he peaked over the final step to see the finish line he noticed the elevator. The harder we strive for something the harder it becomes.
  • “How did he die?” claire asked, “faced his fears” Anthony Replied. “What were they and did he conquer them?” she asked, with a small snicker “he was afraid of dying” Anthony replied. The more fearful of death we become the less we live.

P.S I’m gonna keep an eye out for more in my other notes from school hopefully I can find a few more gems.

Holy crap…. I’m an adult

Many men and women ponder the question, at what point do we become an adult, For many it is defined by the number of years you have wondered this planet, but in this can you really call yourself an adult, because truthfully who really knows how old we are, most of those who know are too close to see the painting for what it really is. Some few believe it’s not who you are but what you are, that the true definition of one’s stature is only defined by the actions we take, the finite decisions that completely affect everyone around you and how we compose ourselves in those situations, with this again we come to the same conundrum, who knows about these acts, and they don’t paint the whole picture.

With these two sides, we get to the chewy centre of the issue, at what point or moment do we become an adult, ladies, and gentlemen I have the answer. Let me paint you a picture, late afternoon, a young music enthusiast is setting up for a major music event that he’d been planning for a year, to play this event for hundreds of people, with excitement in his heart and a pep in his step he eagerly set up his gear and after a hard hour of work he was done. Then as he was about to put on a smooth track to sound check he hears a crash behind him, he quickly turns with terror, “god I hope that wasn’t my gear” he said  with a worried tone, as he turned he saw a small child pulling at one of his speaker stands, with a mellow tone “hey buddy watch out we wouldn’t wanna break it, or I won’t be able to play music“, with a cheeky smile the young boy runs to what could be guessed as being his mother(have I painted a picture for you, no, sorry i don’t have many crayons to work with). In this moment a storm appeared, the heavens parted, the world came to a stop, as the Dj looked around “what’s going on, am I a superhero” he muttered under his breath, then it happened, “sam, leave that man alone” she said, BAM, the skies cleared and everything went back to normal, but once everything appeared to go back to normality the boy had disappeared, poof, gone.

With this I give you the moral of the story, you could be pushing ninety, you could be a firefighter running out of a burning building, no matter what you do or who you are at the end of the day you will never be an adult until a complete stranger refers to you as a man or a woman. This is only true because they are just walking past the painting, they see the whole thing in mere seconds and they can make up their minds whether you’re a boy or  man, girl or woman, in just seconds this happens but it scares for a lifetime, because truthfully who the hell wants to be an adult.

Grasping to become ungrasped

Written in early 2012

Today I realised one Truth, mankind is born with three hands two to hold onto the world and one for the world to hold onto them, as we walk through life at first the third-hand goes unnoticed as a child this hand pushes us along helping us discover the world find new things and add them to our collection of memories while covering our eyes to the reality of life. Alas, this does not last forever as we as a person grows this third hand begins to let the reality in because as a true fact this hand does not grow it remains the same for our entire lives. The moment we are shown the light one of two things happen you either try to hide behind the hand trying to shield yourself from the light or you leave the hand behind, either one of these paths have both positives and negatives but no one can choose either path without discovering how life’s road will be coated, will it be coated smoothly but with massive pot holes or will it be rocky with speed bumps.

If one decides to shield themselves from the light using the hand this becomes harder then playing peek a boo using a chopstick but with this safety net nine times out of ten no light will be seen by the person and they can remain blissful for the most part. Sadly everyone knows life is not predictable even if you could see the future so that one time out of ten life is going to take that chopstick and eat its dinner while it watches you try and grab it back leaving you cowering in the corner second guessing everything you know like a kid lost in a supermarket.

On the second side if one decides to leave the hand behind you will be tested day after day for the rest of your life all because that bloody hand that you have left behind wants you back, one can not live in the world without the world trying to hold on, this hand constantly tries to pull you back down with its problems this intern keeps you in reality. think of it like a staircase every step you go up be it from a happy moment or a fond memory the hand with pull you back down one to keep you here in reality, with this in mind it is not a bad way to live because you have ups and downs more down when you really think about it. Truth in the fact this is the world getting a full grasp of you and it happens but this is merely a speed hump and they are short lived because we truly believe we don’t need the hand to live.

To be honest I have lived both ways and don’t like either one of the paths both of them cause you to rely on a greater power that in truth never really exists but everyone needs the world because without the world we might as well just be brains in beakers. after many years of going between these, I had a moment where what I thought was a speed bump was, in fact, a ramp that I was barrelling towards with a giant chasm beneath it. The moment I hit that ramp me as a person would go down into the chasm and become engulfed by the world and lose myself in it, or I could stick my hands out and try to grab the edge as I reach the other side and pull myself out of the chasm and go on living life. The truth is I fell and I fell hard and I had no choice the world had got me but as the light began to fade and my life began to flip through the choices whether to accept its fate or try to grab the wall, something happened, as I saw the end beneath me ready to accept it and await the hard smack of nothingness I felt something in my hands as I looked back I was punched hard in the stomach by that bastard of a third hand and in that moment my eyes were opened. Little did I realise that when I hit the ramp I wasn’t alone, turns out that my hands were holding onto my family, my friends every person I ever knew or loved and when I decided to fall, my choice would decide their fates as well, to make them fall with me. In this darkest moment, I have ever faced my mind was hit with a bolt of lightning causing me to come to a truth that i had been looking for my entire short lived life there is a third path we can take, not to hide behind the hand, or even try and run from it. The truth is that hand that I’ve been blabbering about is in fact just wanting  us to hold it and bring it with us because that hand is the hands of our family and friends mashed together into one and if one of person falls we all fall.

so what am I getting at with all this dribble, even though you won’t say it you love everyone that has touched your life, the more you run from the world AKA the third hand or try to use it as a shield you will one day be grabbed so hard you can’t breathe and the darkness will creep in. Learn to accept the third hand or the world and carry it with you.

At the end of the day, you are in fact the third hand for everyone else. 

Written, lost, found and rewritten  

By Dasko