Along time ago (well to me it was along time ago) a wise man told me “that ever man women and child even if they were sane, deranged, smart or slow everyone needs to process their thoughts into writing. Be it on the napkin of their last drink or even in the middle of a research paper due the next day, if everyone took five minutes out of the meat grinder they could find their place in the universe and once again find a flow to feeling perfect”. With these wise words in mind ever since that moment i would write down everything that was going on be it, writing down that my teacher was being an asshat in detail or writing a short story about a cat that was really a dog but deep down really was a horse it didn’t matter to me just the feeling of the pen or pencil or crayon or texta in my hand writing out my worries or triumphs it made my mind at easy. But in keeping with the clause that my sensei set before me when he bestowed this wisdom on me “for this technique to work you may never boast or search for gratification from anyone who isn’t you, these notes you write or draw are your own and thus will never be wrong nor right”, i never showed anyone or ask anyone if this sounds cool (i was 16 at the time give me a break) and these notes became a secret, a little oasis in a world that was defined by me, if i wanted to write a speech being spoken by someone who can’t use the letter A i would do that or ponder the question was it the colour orange that was named first or was it the fruit (i later found out that it indeed was the fruit) i didn’t care the only one who was going to read it was me. These notebooks would last about a month then i would purposely lose them, be it chucking them in a box full of other random items or chucking it in a suitcase that i never use, i did this because out of the blue i would find these books months even years later down the track and it would be a small time capsule into the mind of a mad man aka ME it really put everything in perspective but after i read them a second time nine times out of ten i would throw them away never to be seen by mortal eyes again unless some how a piece of it has been recycled into your printing paper then Ssssssshhhhhhhhh keep it to yourself. Now you’re probably wondering to yourself if he does this then why the hell is he putting it on the most open source ever known or maybe you’re just saying MEH!!!! with a loud shrug of the shoulders and with a roll of the finger you will never hear from me again, the truth is I’m not putting up all the things i write down because the truth of the matter is i don’t know you and everyone has secrets, also i don’t just write them down in books i also right on everything and anything so i lose a lot of them. The point of this blog………(sorry i just threw up a little because i would never have really done this if it wasn’t for a certain something that will remain nameless) is for me to bring you highlights and general banter i have with Thomas(my saner self) in an effort to one day maybe help someone who just needs to balance on the line between sanity and losing oneself to the dark side( yes i just used a star wars quote i am a geek get used to it).
I close this with a thank you for taking the time to read this because we all don’t have a lot of time in this world and i can’t believe you have given me some of yours.